Until I was 15, I lived in a remote village on a huge mountain in Guizhou Province, China, with my parents and two younger brothers. During the ’80s and ’90s, we lived in poverty. On our birthdays, we never had a birthday cake. Our gift was a hard-boiled egg. But when I turned 15, I got a special birthday gift: two plums.

There were three plum trees in front of my old house at the edge of a small, flat plain. During early June of the lunar year (August in the Gregorian calendar), ripe plums hung from the branches or rose through the leaves, shining in the sun.

The plums were big, with a layer of white fuzz that seemed like the frost that covers grass on an early fall morning. The sunshine turned one side of the fruit a light golden hue that faded gradually to green. The golden ones were the sweetest and most delicious. On each market day, my mom would sell the plums to earn extra money for us to buy pens and notebooks.

My two brothers and I climbed the trees as deftly as monkeys. I even could climb with a pair of slippers on! But I quit climbing trees when I went to middle school, and I started reading as a hobby.

At noon on my 15th birthday, my mom was napping and my brothers and father disappeared somewhere. The sun was tilted in the sky, and the shadow of our house’s eaves stretched across the yard. The breeze was gentle. The only sound was the song of one or two cicadas in the trees around the house.

As I always did, I sat on a wooden chair under the eaves, reading — “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon” on this day. I was too engaged in the novel to notice my parents’ movements around me. My father approached from the narrow road that connected to our yard, and my mother had gotten up and was sitting on a low chair to one side of the gate, across from me.

“Where have you been?” my mom asked my father. Her voice caused me to look up.

“Over there,” my dad answered with a mysterious smile. He was at the end of the road, in the bright sunshine.

I resumed reading. My dad said, “Ying, do you remember what day it is today?”

I shook my head no. My mind was full of Yu Jiaolong in the novel and her newborn baby.

“Your birthday,” my mom said, yawning. Sleep was still in her half-closed eyes.

“Oh,” I said, returning to my book.

“Here it is,” my dad said, stretching one hand to me.

Two big golden plums lay in the center of his palm. He had scratched off the white fuzz so that the fruit skins were smooth and shining.

I picked up the plums.

My brothers had climbed the plum trees every day without finding any over the past week. “These must be the last two,” my father said.

I split open the fruits, took out the stones, and put the flesh in my mouth: crisp, fresh, sweet mixed with a bit of sour. Today, I can still recall that taste. I have never found a plum as delicious. I didn’t say thanks to my dad, and my dad didn’t say “Happy birthday” to me.

This is how I get along with my parents. Most of my friends from my hometown have the same way of being with their parents — we have never said “I love you” or thank you to one another. No matter how big a mistake the parents made, they didn’t apologize to us, their kids. I have never held my mom’s or dad’s hands when we go out together. It is as if there is an invisible barrier between me and my parents.

In 2014 I moved to the United States and married not long after. To my surprise, I noticed that my husband always said thanks to his parents, something that where I am from was only expressed to and from guests. I noticed, too, that my husband and his parents always ended a phone call with “I love you,” loud and natural. On our son’s first drawing, my mother-in-law taught him to write “To mummy, love, Rang.” I can’t imagine what my hometown people would think of these declarations of affection, for where I come from, love can’t be expressed by words but through actions.

On the first day of the Chinese New Year, I video-chatted with my mom and dad. There was no “Happy New Year” uttered between us. I wanted to say something, but I was afraid they would consider me more of a guest than a family member if I did.

My parents and I will not change our habits of expressing love. But I have learned to say thank you, sorry, and “I love you” to my son, and I enjoy and appreciate his hugs and kisses.

NOTE: This essay is accepted, edited, and published in The Boston Globe Ideas section on June1, 2022.

A parent writes to Dr. Dana Johnson, pediatrician of Meriter Health, that her “18-month old doesn’t seem to be talking as much or as clearly as other kids her age,” and she wonders should she be concerned? As a basic skill to people’s cognition and communication, language development in children is important. But some children, known as “late-talkers” and without any deficiency, speak late, which is called language delay. Language delay in children may cause a reading disorder and social problems in their future development. If the children’s first word or phrase does not come out normally, the parents should send them to do an early assessment. Because language delay hinders the children’s future development, strategies such as language therapy, creating communicative surroundings, and choosing the right media can be applied by parents, educators, and pediatricians to help the kids.

     Language is a very important ability for a human being. Without language, people struggle to express their ideas and understand each other’s opinions. As Sarah Grison and Michael S. Gazzaniga, authors of Psychology in Your Life, state, “Thanks to language, we can live in complex societies where our ability to communicate helps us learn the history, rules, and values of our culture. Language also helps us communicate across cultures and learn much more than other animals can” (134). When babies are born, along with their other abilities, language develops as they grow up. Grison and Gazzaniga conclude that “[b]y the end of their first year, infants around the world are usually saying their first words…By about 18 to 24 months, children’s vocabularies start to grow rapidly. They put words together and form basic sentences of roughly two words…By about age 6, children use language nearly as well as most adults. Their vocabulary will continue to grow throughout their lives” (135). Children’s language develops step by step and there’re evaluation standards at each step. 

However, some children do not speak within their first year or speak only a few words as they grow older. These kids should be considered late-talkers or language-delayed. Jin-Kyung Kim et al. of Catholic University of Daegu School of Medicine, confirm children in all countries can master “the basic of their language” by “4 years of age,” but “5%-8% of children experience speech language delay or disorders in preschool years…” (363) Late-talkers typically don’t have any physical deficiency such as hearing loss or autism, and their health assessments are normal. Some bilingual children are late-talkers too. Kerry Danahy, Ebert et al. define bilingual as “[c]hildren who must learn and use two languages, either simultaneously from birth or sequentially in early child-hood, can be classified as bilinguals” (980). 

Language delay may be caused by bilingual environments. Ebert et al. admit, “Language learning is proposed to influence attention in bilingual children, and attention is proposed to influence language learning in children with developmental language disorder, though the hypothesized influences are controversial in both literatures” (982). It is important to determine whether the native language, the second language, or both languages are delayed. Less involvement by the fathers may lead to children’s language delay too. Typically, people think mothers play an important role in children’s growing up, especially at their young ages. But new research by Tamesha Harewood from Michigan State University points out that fathers’ language significantly contributes to children’s “later expressive language development”, while mother’s language contributes to children’s “receptive language” (4). Harewood also reports that “whereas the current study showed that fathers’, but not mothers’, stress influenced their toddlers’ cognitive development” (12). Cognitive development is related to language development. With the developing of technology and internet, children grow up with media, even from their infant time. Dwi Herawati Ritonga and Sri Sofyan from Universitas Sumatera Utara, Medan, Indonesia point out that “high television exposure in first year of life is related to lack of attention in school especially with language and reading.” 

Delay in speaking influences children’s future development and leads to reading disorders and social difficulties. Kim et al. state that “[c]hildren with speech and language impairment persisting at age 5 years were at high risk for language, literacy, and educational difficulties throughout childhood and into adolescence,” and “some children, whose language delays at age 3 or 4 years had apparently resolved, show difficulties in reading” (363-364). Elisabeth Rose, from Department of Developmental Psychology, Otto-Friedrich-University, points out that “early language abilities have been found to predict the development of cooperative behavior, aggression, and emotional self-regulation over a 4-year period” (778). Language delay in children is a matter which should be paid attention to and strategies are needed to treat this situation which relate to parents, pediatricians, and educators. 

Pediatricians and educators should take an early diagnosis or assessment to determine if the children are language-delayed. Kim et al. comment that “early evaluation can help to identify children with language delay who will benefit from intervention and/or additional evaluation” (368). For bilingual children, Stanley Greenspan, the clinical professor of psychiatry, behavioral science, and pediatrics at the George Washington University Medical School, suggests if the child is more than six months delayed, “it’s essential to consult a speech pathologist” to have “speech and language therapy.” He also encourages parents and teachers to create communicative environments for the children, like play “whistling and blowing games”, “make practice fun,” and “parents do three or four 20- to 30-minute floor-time session a day.” Improving late-talkers’ speaking includes not letting children aged “two years up to five years” watch some television shows, and if this is an avoidable action, however, the benefit of watching TV shows “depending on the quality of the program content, the compatibility of television program content with the age of the child, and the opportunity of interaction with the companion while watching” (Ritonga and Sofyani).

Parents should spend more time with their children, like playing games with them, telling stories to them, or taking them out for a walk. As Harewood states, “More specifically, it is the quality of parent-child interactions that influences both language and cognitive development” (3). Parents let the children attend a special education program or send them to preschools with special language educations. Educators will offer professional help. As Greenspan suggests, “teachers pair up the language-delayed child with another child doing something that involves a lot of back-and-forth talking, Teachers and aides should be conversing with the child, again with a lot of two-way interaction.” He also acknowledges that “the rhythm of interaction is critical for language development, so it’s very important for the child to have communicative and verbal peers. What we want is interaction, interaction, interaction!”

In conclusion: Though language-delayed development has a negative impact on a child, parents shouldn’t panic, because their panic will transfer to their children, who may become nervous and that will not help their speaking. Parents need to calm down and search for help. There are a lot of strategies and speaking programs to help children with issues speaking. As Dr. Johnson answered the parent that asked the question earlier, “[l]anguage delay occurs in one out of every five children and is the most common developmental delay.” Kim et al. also point out that “[s]ome children with language delay ‘catch up’ during the preschool years (late bloomer)” (367). 

Work Cited

Johnson, Dana, pediatrician, Meriter Health “Language Delay in Children is Common.” Wisconsin State Journal, Sep 25, 2013. ProQuest https://search-proquest-com.accarcproxy.mnpals.net/docview/1436477238?accountid=48834

Ebert, Kerry Danahy, et al, “Attention in Bilingual Children With Developmental Language Disorder.” Journal of speech, Language & Hearing Research, vol. 62, no. 4, pp979-992. EBSCO, doi: 10.1044/2018_JSLHR-L-18-0221

Greenspan, Stanley I. “Working with the Bilingual Child Who Has a Language Delay.” Early Childhood Today, vol. 20, no. 3, Nov/Dec2005, pp27-28. EBSCO. web.a.ebscohost.com.accarcproxy.mnpals.net.

Grison, Sarah, and Michael S. Gazzaniga. Psychology in Your Life. W. W. Norton & Company, 2016.

Harewood, Tamesha, et al. “More than Just the Breadwinner: The Effects of Fathers’ Parenting Stress on Children’s Language and Cognitive Development.” Infant & Child Development, vol. 26, no. 2, Mar/Apr2017. EBSCO, doi: 10.1002/icd.1984

Kim, Jin-Kyung, et al. “Developmental Profiles of Preschool Children with Delayed Language Development.” Korean Journal of Pediatrics, vol 57, no. 8, 2014, pp363-369. EBSCO, doi: 10.3345/kjp.2014.57.8.363

Ritonga, Dwi Herawati, and Sri Sofyani, “Language Development and Television Exposure in Chilren.” Pediatric Oncall Journal, vol. 15, no. 4, Oct/Dec2018, pp. 89-91. EBSCO, doi: 10.7199/ped.oncall.2018.39

Rose, Elisabeth, et al. “The Roles of Receptive and Productive Language in Children’s Socioemotional Development.” Social Development, vol. 27, no. 4, Nov 2018, pp. 777-792. EBSCO, doi: 10.1111/sode.12317.

As stars twinkle in the sky, literature has shone throughout China’s more than 5000 years of history. Like cobblestones left in rivers, many books have withstood the test of time and become classics. Among these timeless classics, there are eight excellent books that one must read to truly appreciate Chinese culture and literature. These books are known for having the best acceptable translations compared to others.

1. Dream of the Red Chamber by Cao Xueqin.
Published in the mid-18th century, Dream of the Red Chamber is considered a masterpiece of Chinese literature. It tells the captivating love story between a young boy from a wealthy family and his cousin, as well as the eventual downfall of the affluent families. This novel, being the first to criticize feudal ethics and sympathize with the struggles of women, was warmly embraced by both the nobility and common people upon its release. Beyond its narrative, the book encompasses a wealth of knowledge, including architecture, geography, Chinese medicine, fortune-telling, politics, religions, stitchwork, cooking, antiques, and phytology. Scholars have delved into the field of “Redology” to uncover information about the author, his family, the characters’ prototypes, and the historical context of the story.

The translators of Dream of the Red Chamber, Yang Xianyi and his wife Gladys Yang, are highly skilled professionals in translating ancient Chinese works. Yang Xianyi was born and raised in China, while Gladys Yang was born and raised in England. Their translation accurately reflects the original Chinese expressions and caters to the reading habits of native English speakers.

2. The Plum in the Golden Vase.
Composed by Lanling Xiaoxiao Sheng, a pseudonym, during the late Ming Dynasty (1368-1644), this book had been banned for a long time due to its explicit sexual descriptions. In contrast to its contemporaries that focused on male heroes and significant events, The Plum in the Golden Vase provides a glimpse into the daily lives of ordinary people. It delves into their friendships, encounters with prostitutes, extramarital affairs, as well as their experiences with eating, drinking, quarreling, and fighting. The wealthy businessman Ximen Qing serves as the central character, surrounded by six beautiful wives with intricate backgrounds. While he loves each of them and they are devoted to him, their relationships are marked by jealousy and secret conflicts.

The translator David Tod Roy dedicated 40 years to studying and translating this classic into English, resulting in his version being widely regarded as the best.

3. Romance of the Three Kingdoms by Luo Guanzhong.
Based on the actual historical events of the Three Kingdoms period, this novel was published in the 14th century. It vividly depicts famous figures of the time, such as the wise Zhuge Liang, the fierce Cao Cao, the ambitious Liu Bei, and the jealous Zhou Yu. Through this novel, readers who may shy away from dense history books become captivated by and gain a deeper understanding of this period. The author employs concise yet powerful sentences to portray epic battles, strategic tactics, great leaders, common people, loyalty, betrayal, heroes, villains, governance, family dynamics, and love affairs. Numerous adaptations in the form of films, TV shows, operas, and novels have been inspired by this masterpiece.

There are two notable translated versions: one by C.H. Brewitt-Taylor, published in 1925, and the other by Moss Roberts, published in 1994. Both translators are highly regarded, and their respective versions have garnered praise.

4. The Journey to the West

Published in the Ming dynasty (16th century), Wu Cheng’en created this novel based on the legendary and true story of a monk named Xuan Zang in the Tang dynasty. Xuan Zang embarked on a journey to India to obtain Buddhist scriptures. Accompanying him are three apprentices, two of whom were transformed from a monkey and a pig, while the third was once a soldier of the Heavenly King. Xuan Zang’s horse was transformed from the third son of the King of the West Sea. Starting in China, they encounter various monsters, genies, and natural disasters along the way. After experiencing 81 challenges, they finally obtain the scriptures and return to China.

The translator Anthony C. Yu, who was born in Hong Kong, is a scholar of literature and religion with expertise in both Eastern and Western cultures. For the translation of this book, he received assistance from several English-speaking scholars, resulting in his version being considered the best in faithfully conveying the original meaning and presenting it in beautiful and fluent English.

5. Outlaws of the Marsh by Shi Nai’an.
One hundred and eight individuals, each with their own reasons—some having killed villains, others having dealt with unfaithful wives, disobeyed local officials, or kidnapped wicked ministers—gather at Mount Liang and form a formidable army to resist the central government. Eventually, the government recognizes their efforts and assigns them to campaign against invaders. However, in the end, the prominent leaders are killed by the government, and the group is disbanded. The story is based on an actual historical event in the late Song Dynasty (960-1279) when Song Jiang assembled 36 men to revolt against the government. The 108 characters in the story represent 108 heroic individuals. One interesting comparison can be made: in The Plum in the Golden Vase, the protagonist Ximen Qing and his lover Pan Jinlian get married and live together until they both die of illness. However, in Outlaws of the Marsh, they were never married and maintained an affair, leading to their eventual demise at the hands of Pan’s brother-in-law, Wu Song, who had slain a tiger after drinking 18 large bowls of wine. Due to Outlaws of the Marsh, Ximen Qing and Pan Jinlian have become symbols of betrayal in Chinese marriage culture.

Translator Sidney Shapiro, born in New York, USA, moved to China after graduating from Columbia University and Yale University, where he majored in Chinese language, history, and culture. He has translated over 20 Chinese books into English and was awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award in Translation by the Translators Association of China in 2010.

6. Fortress Besieged by Chien Chung Shu.

Have you ever heard of the saying “truth is naked,” where a lady is referred to as “partial truth” because she wears only a scarlet top and navy blue, skin-tight shorts? Have you ever experienced waking up from a hangout and feeling a “sawing pain” in your head, with your tongue feeling like a coir doormat used for wiping shoes before entering a house? Do you know what would happen if you witnessed a dirty girl seizing a louse and squeezing it? Do you agree that people who don’t readily speak give the impression that they are packed with wisdom, just like a locked, tightly sealed chest is assumed to be filled with treasure? These vivid narrations and funny metaphors are from the Chinese novel “Fortress Besieged,” written by Chien Chung Shu and translated by Jeanne Kelly and Nathan K. Mao. The story takes place during the wartime of Chinese anti-Japanese resistance and revolves around the life, love, marriage, and career of Fang Hung-chien, a returnee.

In this novel, highly educated individuals are not what we typically perceive them to be as understanding, generous, and knowledgeable. On the contrary, they are portrayed as selfish, snobbish, vain, and childish, much like William Makepeace Thackeray’s “Vanity Fair.” Like Thackeray’s work, Chien’s novel is filled with irony and humor. The slogan of the novel, “marriage is like a fortress besieged, people inside want to rush out, and people outside want to rush in,” applies not only to marriage but also to life and career, making it a popular and often quoted motto since its publication.

The translation by Jeanne Kelly and Nathan K Mao captures Chien Chung Shu’s humorous expressions and ironic metaphors, making it the only English version available.

7. Love in A Fallen City by Eileen Chang.

This is a collection of Eileen Chang’s six novellas. “Aloeswood Incense: The First Brazier” tells the story of a young girl student who falls in love with a playboy, marries him, and resorts to sleeping with other men to earn money to support him. “Love in a Fallen City” narrates the story of a divorced woman who finds love with a man in the backdrop of Hong Kong during the war. “The Golden Cangue” follows the life of a poor girl who marries a disabled wealthy man in pursuit of a better life. As she grows older, her thoughts and personality become twisted, leading her to seek revenge on her son and daughter, resulting in her wife’s suicide and her fiancé fleeing. The other three novellas included are “Jasmine Tea,” “Sealed Off,” and “Red Rose, White Rose.” Eileen Chang’s stories revolve around the love and destiny of ordinary women. Her words are like a luxuriant yet cold sword, piercing through beautiful facades to reveal the ugly truths beneath. Eileen Chang is one of China’s greatest authors, adept at capturing people’s emotions, thoughts, sounds, and views through the use of metaphors. Reading her stories will provide a deeper understanding of the challenging living conditions faced by women during that time.

Translator Karen S. Kingsbury is an expert in the study of Eileen Chang and her works. Her translation stays true to the original versions, capturing the sentence styles, word choices, and conveying the intended meanings.

8. The moment in Pecking by Lin Yutang.

This is a novel written in English. The story takes place from 1901 to 1938 and revolves around Yao Mulan, a beautiful and intelligent girl from a Taoist family who marries a young man from a Confucian family. However, she is in love with another young man who is dedicated to establishing a new and progressive China. As the story unfolds, the three prominent families navigate and adapt to the historical events of the time, including the Boxer Uprising, the Republican Revolution of 1911, the Warlord Era, the May 4th Movement, and the start of the Sino-Japanese War of 1937-1945.

Lin Yutang, a writer, scholar, translator, and linguist, composed this novel between 1938 and 1939 while living in Paris. The novel’s success earned him a nomination for the Nobel Prize.

Today, my father, my husband Tyler, and I visited the Drum Tower, the Bell Tower, and the Wild Goose Pagoda.

The Drum Tower and Bell Tower are the only ancient buildings that stand in the center of Xi’an. Surrounding them are modern, tall, and brightly colored buildings—Xi’an is a city of contrasting colors. There’s a photo from 1960 showing the Bell Tower surrounded by stylish old buildings—quadrangle dwellings with grey brick walls and dark black roofs. Unfortunately, they are no longer there. Taxi drivers told me that they didn’t feel any regret about the disappearance of the old houses but suggested visiting other well-preserved ancient buildings for sightseeing. They view things from an economic and business perspective, and it’s the price of development.

The Wild Goose Pagoda is a wooden tower. We paid extra money to climb up the narrow, dim, and sloping wooden stairs to the top. The climb wasn’t particularly worth it, except for the opportunity to take photos of the city through small windows. It was extremely hot and crowded.

In front of the pagoda, there are musical fountains that are truly remarkable and worth seeing. It’s amazing how the designers make the water dance to the music! I enjoyed walking in the vast parks surrounding the fountains and pagoda—they were peaceful, clean, and expansive. If I were a high school student, I would enroll myself in one of the universities in Xi’an. On weekends, I would stroll in the parks with my boyfriend, hand in hand, enjoying old-fashioned ice lollies, discussing our dreams, window shopping for cute crafts, sitting under a weeping willow tree, savoring the gentle breeze, listening to stories about Chinese cultural history, and watching the dancing fountains. Everything would be perfect and romantic!

My son developed a high fever in the middle of the night. He woke up crying and trembling. My parents and mother-in-law suggested taking him to the hospital, and I was terrified because he had never been so sick before!

The hotel assisted us in finding a taxi, and within ten minutes, we arrived at the hospital. After paying and receiving a name card for my son, we carried him to the second floor, where three people were waiting ahead of us. The doctor was elderly and typed on the computer so slowly that she had to check the keyboard before each keystroke. I wondered why the hospital didn’t assign a nurse to assist her. My son was burning up and shaking, and my worry turned into frustration with the slow doctor.

Fortunately, another doctor appeared and directed us to the next room, where she insisted on checking my son’s temperature. I had to pay 10 RMB to rent a thermometer from a nurse. My son didn’t like the thermometer and refused to let me use it on him. I had to insist, and he cried with a raspy throat. My heart broke. The result was 39.7 degrees Celsius (103.46 degrees Fahrenheit). The doctor immediately prescribed medication and requested a blood test on the first floor.

After 40 minutes, we received the blood test results and returned to the doctor. The doctor who initially examined us had finished her shift, and a new doctor took over the case. She didn’t explain the blood test results but asked to recheck my son’s temperature. Seeing that it was still high, she prescribed another medication and advised us to wait for two hours until the temperature dropped below 38 degrees Celsius (100.4 degrees Fahrenheit).

Raising a child is incredibly challenging!

Fortunately, my son’s temperature eventually subsided, and we returned to the hotel. The manager kindly pressed the elevator button for me and offered assistance if I needed anything, which warmed my heart.

We had to cancel the appointment for the next day’s Terra-Cotta Warrior’s visit. Only if my son recovered, I didn’t need to visit any place anymore.

Mom joined us on our trip to Xi’an.

When we arrived at the airport and attempted to check-in, we had to walk a long distance, and mom walked slowly. I couldn’t imagine how much pain she was experiencing. Seeing her like that broke my heart, but she reassured me that she didn’t feel much pain.

Xi’an is a hot and dry city. The roads are wide, clean, and flat, and the terrain is flatter compared to Guizhou Province. The taxi driver spoke with a different Mandarin accent and recommended places worth visiting.

After checking into the hotel, we slept throughout the entire afternoon. I slept so well that it made up for staying up late the previous night.

The five days spent in my hometown city feel like a distant memory, hazy like a dream. However, I haven’t had the time to reflect on or miss it just yet.

This was an unlucky day. In the morning, while my mom was trying to cross the street to buy candy for my son, she was hit by a scooter. Her shoes flew off, and she couldn’t get up.

My brother and I accompanied her to the hospital. Thankfully, there were no fractures, but she was in noticeable muscle pain and unable to walk. I worried about our planned trip to Xi’an tomorrow. My husband suggested that my mom might hide her true pain in order to travel with us. His words saddened me. I know my mom misses me and is thrilled to travel with us. She’s proud that I bought the tickets and arranged a hotel for her. If she can’t go, she will be so disappointed. I comforted her and made the decision that I would take her only if she could manage to walk a bit.

After helping my mom take her medication and gently massaging her bruised legs and toes, I sat in the living room and showed my husband and mother-in-law a picture of the boy I had a crush on in middle school. I was excited at the thought of seeing him later in the evening. While my mom rested, we went out for shopping. Right at the district gate, a man called out my name, and when I looked up, it was the boy! My husband and mother-in-law laughed and asked if it was him. I couldn’t help but laugh and told the boy that I had already confessed my crush to my family, and he laughed too. I didn’t expect it to be so easy and fun to speak about such a “big secret.” He invited us to his home, but we didn’t have time. I asked if he would attend the party tonight, and he said he was busy due to someone’s passing. Just like when he was a teenager, he hasn’t changed much; he didn’t enjoy socializing with other students.

For dinner, we met with my former colleagues and three female teachers. Their stories were fascinating, and I wished I had more time to listen: to hear about their teaching experiences at different middle schools, stories about their children, and anecdotes about other old coworkers whom I might not see again for the rest of my life. However, my mother’s well-being was my primary concern. Additionally, my other friends were waiting for me at another party. After dinner, I said goodbye to them and hurried into the heavy rain.

We invited one of our middle school teachers, whom I hadn’t seen in a long time, to another party. He had aged, and it was disappointing that the boy I had a crush on didn’t come.

There were five of us classmates and two teachers at the party. We drank, reminisced about the past, teased each other, and shared secrets about which classmates had crushes on the teachers. I could still see the pride in my teachers’ eyes when they looked at me. Middle school was my glory days when all the teachers liked me, and all the students admired me because I consistently ranked first in all subjects: Chinese, English, Math, Physics, Chemistry, and Politics.

I was happy to see my former colleagues, classmates, and teachers. I wish I had more time to spend with them and so many questions I wanted to ask.

We stayed in the city for only five days, and since it was weekdays, there were some friends I couldn’t meet or accept their invitations. It was a pity.

This afternoon, one of my cousins invited us to dinner. After that, I attended a small party organized by my former students whom I had taught 10 years ago. Those small kids have grown into big and handsome young men.

At the beginning, they asked me to guess their names. I had forgotten some of their names, and their appearances had changed a lot. Even when they told me their names, I couldn’t connect them with the images I had in my memories. They were very polite in front of me, refraining from using any inappropriate language. One boy pulled up his T-shirt and was asked to put it back down, and he obeyed.

They shared many interesting stories from middle school, which surprised me. They talked about a boy who fell in love with a girl and how he won her heart. They mentioned two boys who gambled under the desk during my English class, and I had no idea. Some boys even took photos of me in class, and I didn’t even know they had phones at that time! They were mischievous and clever.

They shared their love stories, college experiences, and work anecdotes with me. I felt sorry for one boy who didn’t show up today. Since primary school, he had been the top student. In Grade 6, his parents—his father was my coworker—asked me to teach him English. All the teachers believed he had a bright future ahead. But no! He lost interest in studying after entering high school. He started doing business to earn money, like buying T-shirts wholesale and selling them to his classmates at retail prices. His exam scores plummeted. After graduating from high school, he fell in love and got married. He was too young to obtain a legal marriage certificate, and soon after the wedding, he had a son. However, he ended up getting divorced, and his parents had to raise his son. The worst part is that he became addicted to gambling and lost more than two billion RMB (around 300,000 USD). Although he was born into a wealthy family and his parents can pay off his debts, I still feel sorry for him. If he had maintained his excellent academic performance from middle school, he might be leading a different life. Maybe not as rich or successful, but at least he could raise his child and not make his parents worry so much. I hope he can quit gambling and become a responsible father and son.

All the students who attended the party often gather together because they live close to each other. The government bought the land where they lived in order to develop it into a large town, and their families received a significant payout from the government. They talked about gambling with large bets, something I had never considered or been brave enough to try. It highlights the gap between them and me.

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Today, we took a two-hour drive to visit the village where I was born and grew up. Among all the government policies, I believe the “returning farmlands to forests” initiative is successful and meaningful. The road that connects the town center to my home village is built along the mountainside. The land in the area is full of stones and sands, making it unsuitable for planting crops like corn, potatoes, or beans. A few years ago, the government encouraged people to plant trees on these lands instead and provided free food to the landowners as compensation.

The once barren lands are now covered in lush green trees, reflecting the early summer sunshine. The road is shaded, cool, and tranquil. The green leaves perfectly complement the blue sky and white clouds. I couldn’t help but worry about the drivers on the road. If they were to veer off, their cars could roll down the mountainside, resulting in a disaster. About 20 years ago, a drunken man fell off the hill and wasn’t found until his wife dreamt about his whereabouts. However, now with the trees in place, I believe they can prevent cars from going over the edge and minimize harm.

I can’t remember how many times I’ve dreamed about the village and the mountains. When I stood on the land, observing and touching it, it felt like my dreams had come true. I wanted to climb the mountains and take some photos, but my mother-in-law and husband were tired. It was already noon, and everyone was hungry, so we only spent about an hour in the village. We drove back to the town and visited my mother’s brothers, where we had a delicious meal. One of my uncles is a chef, and one of my aunts cooks the most delicious fried beef.

All my uncles treated my family and me very well, even giving money to my son as a gift.

In the evening, we returned to Jinsha city, where my friends invited me for a meal. I left my husband, son, and mother-in-law at the hotel and went to a small restaurant to have a late supper with three girls and one of the girls’ husbands. The unique thing about the restaurant was that they used a flat stone as a roasting pot. The roasted smelly tofu tasted excellent. However, it was a lively place. People from the next table were playing a drinking guessing game, and some women spoke loudly, sounding like they were shouting. I couldn’t hear what my friends were talking about. That’s the city life. I used to live like that—every night, playing Mahjong, gathering for drinks, or singing at KTV. Time slipped away from my grasp, and I only realized it when I contemplated my life and reminisced about a solitary rainy night. Compared to life in the city, living in America may be too lonely, but it allows me to find calmness and engage in meaningful activities. I can study writing, read and write novels, learn Korean, and more. I don’t regret wasting my precious twenties because without those experiences, I wouldn’t have known that my current life suits me. I also don’t regret living here in solitude, for it has taught me the value of a quieter and less hectic lifestyle as I grow older.

When we finished the meal, it was already midnight. Two of the girls walked back with me, and when we reached their house, they turned left, while I continued walking straight. There were fewer people on the street, but the parking lots were packed with cars. The streetlights cast a long and lonely shadow. In that moment, I was reminded of the feeling I had when I was single and lived in this city. Every night, after playing Mahjong, drinking, or leaving the KTV room, I would walk alone on the empty street, experiencing a sense of emptiness, being lost, and feeling lonely. I quickened my pace towards the hotel, eager to be with my husband and son.

In middle school, I was famous for always being the top student, so many students knew me, but I didn’t know them. There was a boy who was one year younger than me, and when he entered Grade 9, I had already graduated. I had been recruited by a Normal school, which was a big event in my hometown, and I was admired by people. Grade 9 was an important year, and its term started in the summer when new books were not yet distributed, so the students borrowed books from the graduates. When that boy’s father came to borrow my books, I wasn’t home, but my father lent the books to him.

A few years later, that boy became a doctor and opened a clinic next to the school where I was teaching. My colleague and I visited him once, and he was a shy boy with a round and smiling face.

About a week ago, he heard about me from my brother (they were once classmates) and added me on WeChat. Today, he sent me a message inviting my family and me for supper. Before going to the dinner, I had imagined a small gathering with him, my brother, my brother’s friend, and me, sitting in a cozy room, eating and reminiscing about our middle school life. That would have been fun. However, when we entered the room, there were more than 20 people, and all of them were his relatives. He had become a mature and successful man, a millionaire with a clinic and several supermarkets. He was no longer shy but talkative. He kept expressing his gratitude to me for lending him my books, but he seemed to have forgotten that we had seen each other at his newly opened clinic.

I don’t know why he invited his relatives to join us for a big supper. Perhaps it was a good opportunity for him to show his gratitude to his friends, or maybe he was excited to introduce my husband and mother-in-law, as their foreign faces were quite rare in the city. Regardless, the food was excellent, and everyone spoke modestly and warmly welcomed my family and me.

After dinner, my middle school classmates invited me to join them for a get-together. There were two girls and one boy. We ordered roasted fish, which happened to be one of my favorite dishes. The fish was cooked with potatoes, onions, radishes, and coriander, and it was tender and flavorful. We enjoyed some beers as well. One of the girls was divorced and dating a man who was nine years younger than her, and he had not divorced his wife. She had three kids, and he had three as well. She knew that having an affair was wrong and had attempted to break up with him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She loved him but had no plans to marry him because if they did, they would have a total of six kids, and to strengthen their relationship, they might even have one more child, making it a seventh. According to her, that would be a disaster. It was a difficult situation, and though we tried to persuade her to end the affair, she confessed that she felt heartbroken every time she tried to break up with him. We didn’t know what else to say. Love can be incredibly complicated.

Compared to other places, my hometown city of Jinsha is considered very fashionable. My classmates told me that divorces and affairs are quite common among young couples. Something seems to be amiss with the people there—perhaps they are too lonely, too isolated, too focused on appearances, or too simplistic in their pursuit of true love. No one could provide a definitive explanation, and I am equally puzzled.

I was intoxicated. When I arrived back at the hotel, my husband greeted me at the door, and it was the first time I had left my son to sleep with his dad. I couldn’t help but feel guilty.

Although I have been in America for more than five years, I still haven’t obtained my driver’s license. Whenever I practice driving and my husband gives me directions, I become confused. Even if I were to get my license, driving alone would be challenging for me. I struggle with distinguishing directions and remembering the roads. Even in the place I lived in for years in China, I can’t figure out East, West, South, and North.

This morning, I held my phone with a navigation map given to me by a friend, but I still managed to lose my way after two hours of walking. I called my friend multiple times, and it wasn’t until she explained that the building I needed to go to was across from the largest hotel that I finally found it! Two hours of walking left my legs tired.

After finishing my work, my brother picked us up from the hotel. As the car drove through the streets of Guiyang city, it felt like I was revisiting my past. I had spent two years studying in college in this city, and it was the happiest time of my life. I didn’t have to worry about tuition because we were teachers before entering the school for further studies, and the schools covered our expenses. I didn’t have to worry about finding a job after graduating because I would return to my previous school to continue teaching. We were carefree. We would even request sick leave to play card games in the dormitory, take trips to the countryside, dance in the hall every weekend, date the boys we liked, and visit classmates who lived nearby.

I used to stroll down the narrow streets, shopping for clothes and books, or holding hands with my boyfriend. That was 13 years ago. How time flies! The scenes may have changed, but the emotions they evoke haven’t—living in a dream where I’m still in my early twenties, unafraid of the future, and not concerned about getting older.

We arrived at my brother’s home in Jinsha County, where the village of my birth and upbringing is located. My brother, parents, relatives, and most of my friends live in Jinsha. My parents had already prepared food for us, including smoked meat and tofu, which I missed the most in America. The taste was even more delicious than I remembered!

After dinner, my cousins came to see me. It had been a long time since I last saw them, and some had grown old or become sick. I’m sure in their eyes, I have also aged.

We stayed in a hotel across the street from my brother’s building. It seemed nice, but when we returned at night, my son spotted a large cockroach on my mother-in-law’s room wall, and she was scared.

I feel sorry for her.